Let me start at square one.

Ulcerative Colitis is a gastrointestinal disorder characterized by inflammation of the lining in the colon or large intestine. I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis during senior year of high school. Talk about timing.

Since being diagnosed, my life has changed drastically. I went from being a confident athlete to- well, whatever I am now. I guess you could say that I am still figuring that out as I go. There is nothing wrong with that. Life is about growth.

Isolation

The challenge is that colitis can be isolating…

While in college, I never felt like I was truly understood by my friends, teachers, and coaches. Of course, they would let me know that it was not a big deal, but how could it not be? After all, I was the reason we had to stop at the bathroom a million times a day. I was the reason we were late to an event. I was the person anxiously fretting about bathroom access, which felt quite uncommon as a twenty-year-old. How can something so big and annoying in my life, be so whatever to them?

Sometimes, if they are truly a good friend, it really does not matter.

Although, thinking realistically in the eyes of a coach, stranger, or teacher, dealing with me would be annoying. After all, the things that are forcefully important to me are definitely not top contenders of their “things I must think about” lists.

With all of this in mind, thinking about how my chronic illness affects others does not exactly boost my mental health. After all, I have to expend a lot of energy simply living with my illness, why must I add the pressure of outside perceptions? I’ve always been somewhat of a worrywart. Now though, I realize that I should have spent more time in my earlier years of diagnosis focusing on all aspects of my health. Imagine what I could have accomplished if I spent more time taking care of my body and mind rather than finding myself in a never-ending routine of worrying about how my illness affects others.

Easier said than done.

Gutsy

I want to live a gutsy life. I want to step out of my house each day and not worry about what embarrassing event might occur. I want to feel healthy and happy.

This is part of the reason why I have created this blog.

Remember earlier when I said that colitis is isolating? That is the second reason this blog was started. I want to create a place where people struggling with ulcerative colitis can come together and feel seen. Any other conditions that find themselves relating are welcome as well.

This blog will contain my written thoughts, feelings, goals, and life experiences. It will serve as motivation for me to finally start living a gutsy life rather than a life revolved around my guts.

Will you join me?